Hello Stalkers!

Have you ever forgotten to have your breakfast? Probably. But have you ever forgot to worry? Absolutely never.

Humans tend to fall for the trap of the web of beliefs in our minds and started worrying. The problem is not that we worry. It’s about what we worry and how much time we spend on it.

Most of our fears, worry and insecurity comes from thinking about either the past or the future but seldom present.

I’m no God, but you can rely on me as I may enlighten you with some interesting ideas. Nothing more, nothing less.

Worry Breaks 🐣

I’ve read ‘Who Will Cry When You Die’ and grabbed the most fascinating thing. It was a coincident that I’ve already thought about the idea shared in it but never implemented it. Mostly because I am unsure whether it will work or not. After reading it, my heart stiffened.

So, here it is.

Worry Breaks.

It simply means, you need to allot a specific time to just worry. You can call it as a break you take to dwell in sorrow.

For example, a half an hour in the evening.

During the break, you can take all the memories of nightmares, future insecurity, breakups, mental health, inferior feelings, betrayal, self-pity and whatever-you-name to flood into your mind and just sit, sulk, and scream.

Be okay with that. It’s not a sin to worry about things. If you do worry, you are perfectly fine unless you know how to limit the endurance of it.

Here’s the catch: Once the time runs out, you need to shove the bag of thoughts and get back to your work with standing feet. No more going back. Every drop of tear you spend in that time duration, should not be shed once you get back to work.

You got to be a fireball when you step out of the moment. Collect all the broken, shattered pieces and shift to your normal personality. Don’t care whether you can actually do it or not. It’s never a crime to give it a try. If it doesn’t work. Then let’s search for better solution together.

What you’ll get out of this…

1. Peace of mind.

2. No intervention during your work.

3. Clarity for the things you worry.

4. Reduction of the time your spend to worry.

5. Self-confidence.

6. Strong outlook to the people around you.

7. Steel heart.

8. Patience

9. Rushing thoughts of new ideas.

10. Self-awareness. (Solution for lot of problems and an easily ignored topic)

I don’t say this will get you where you want and completely make you stop worry. But I’m sure you will gain at least 1% improvement in the above mentioned 10 benefits (and their children).

All we are trying to do is to slave the bad habit which once ate our back for so long. We’re strategizing to make it as an advantage for our personal growth. Use this in the regular basis, like a tonic. If you are not worried, then skip them.

Remember, today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.

Let’s grow from here. From wherever we are. Let’s take worry breaks ;)

Expectations Sucks 🪳

When I had a walk with my mom at night, she talked about something out of the blue which hit me somewhere. Everything comes somewhere from the experience right. Experience in the sense, I meant, what you saw, heard and felt.

Like wise, my mom told me when I discussed about the worry break idea.

She classified worry into two categories.

1. People-based.

2. Event-based.

In this context, we see, Event-based worries are mostly out of hand or uncontrollable. It may occur on its own. Ex: The rain pour spoiling your plan to go for shopping.

Let’s not talk about that.

Coming to People-based worries, she says, “It’s always because we expect something from the other side that causes the worry.”

It was… really true.

As, I talked about Love earlier, I mentioned, a relationship cannot bloom without expecting a reward out of it. We rely on people just because you expect them to do something to you.

Not just physical facilities but all the abstract things we wanted to exchange. Quality time, just a smile, listening to what we’re speaking, reaction for what we show, taking selfies, a quick reply, moral advice, defending us, motivation, support, help, love etc.

The only part which came to my mind was… how will it hurt when we don’t get what we expect them to do. Think about a one-sided love. Only one person will give things to the other and the other will not reciprocate it because they won’t love them.

Here, absolutely expectation had got in the tracks and ruined the mental peace of the person who dearly loved them and dreamt a future with them that’s never gonna happen. I scoffed at the realisation. This is not just works for breakups and not-yet-bloomed love.

Expectation is the backbone of every fricking relationship in the world.

If a relationship didn’t work, you can infer that EXPECTATION IS NOT SATISFIED.

This is both good and bad. However, we people, only look at the bad side and get affected. As mentioned earlier, expectation is the backbone of every relationship. You cannot just throw it away and move on like a robot.

Expectation is necessary or to put it in other words, it is the blood in the vein when we born. You just cannot throw it out.

So, don’t try to shut it down.

Instead you can try to reduce the amount of expectation you have on people. I’ve tried it for the past month and it DID WORK. I swear, it is hectic but on practise for just one week, you can get over a TON OF WORRY which sucked you up for years.

> I have stopped expecting my friend to spend time with me after she got her boyfriend in school. (I am one step close to a lone kid. And she was the only one I’m left with. But it turned out that she has someone else to look at.)

> I have stopped expecting my cousin to listen to me when I say her to stop watching reels for so long.

> I have stopped expecting my teachers to appreciate me when I really did a good job at the work they assigned to me.

> I have stopped expecting my classmates to enjoy the joke I crack.

> I have stopped expecting a follower to not unfollow me later.

> I have stopped expecting myself that to obey whatever I say to it.

> And I almost stopped expecting life to give me a good time.

These are glimpses. Like wise, I suggest you to kill some small expectations you already had in yourself or on others which had been ruining a lot of things in your life.

Comment me, if it works.

Well, I don’t expect you to take your time and comment it. Don’t worry.

Thought-Think-Theory 🤯

There are two things you have to know the difference than to spend time in spotting differences in mind puzzles.

1. THOUGHT

2. THINK

Make a mental note about what I’m about to say. Imagine, thought as an individual idea comes to your mind. Whereas when you dwell upon that one idea, it is called thinking.

Visual example: Imagine your friend is sending you 5k money (in whatever currency) via G-pay.

How do you feel?

Freeze.

Now, go on with that thought for a minute or so and resume reading.

.

.

.

How do you feel?

If you really did that right. You should have felt happy at the first instruction. i. e, when your friend sends you money.

There is no thought other than the fact I said you to imagine, right?

On the contrary, you should’ve experienced a doubtful sensation, mockery, confusion, insecurity, hatred, when I told you to think about the thought.

Don’t says, when I write an exam I am thinking to solve a problem in math.

I Think, what is 4+5 and I got it as 9.

Well, you are using ‘think’ in the verbal expression, but the idea I’m trying to tell you is abstract.

In the case above, what actually happens is, you are asking a question in the form of thought and the reply comes back in thought as ‘9’. That’s it.

You are not thinking. I am using think to talk about something in peculiar context.

Thought: Appears out of nowhere and only gives you bliss.

Think: Appears from yourself and only gives you worry.

This causes suffering. Not pain.

Pain is physically caused.

Suffering is emotional and mental.

So, thinking either positively or negatively—doesn’t matter—if you are dwelling in one thought, you will end up in worry.

This Thought-Think-Theory is proposed by Joseph Nguyen in his book ‘Don’t Believe Everything You Think’.

If you ask me how to stop thinking... You actually cannot completely get rid of it, says Joseph, but you can just become aware by saying ‘I’m just thinking’ when you feel like tons of thoughts running inside your head and the thinking will settle down on its own.

It fricking helped me.

So, if you were worried or feeling low, just know that you are thinking and you will calm down in an instant.

Don’t feel overwhelmed. I guess I’ve elaborated the main gist of the ideas I wanted to share as comprehendible as possible. Take in what suits you best and what your inner voice says true.

It can lead you to the best results without anyone’s advice or sayings. But gathering information like this will one day hit you during the hardships or may give a hand when you drown in your worry.

That’s what happened to me, I just really want to share this with you and believe it helps you.

Success is walking from failure to failure with no loss of enthusiasm.

It’s natural to go back to the worried-person-character again and again just like I did whenever I try to be optimistic. Still, don’t be hard on yourself. Give yourself another chance. Try again. Use your worrying personality as your armor and a weapon which can slice the darkness.

You could be the strongest person you ever knew…

READ & CHEERS 🍻